Today I have serious questions regarding the eating habits of the females our young girls now look to as role models.
Q: Are you referring to the Texas woman who allegedly ate half a cake while shopping and then insisted at the checkout that she should only pay half-price for what was left?
A: No, I am not referring to that.
Q: Oh. So you must mean that other Texas woman who was caught on camera taking the lid off a container of ice cream and licking the contents before returning it to the grocery store freezer?
A: Ewww, no. I’m not talking about her, either. Let me clarify. I’m talking about the eating habits of POSITIVE role models.
Q: Who would that be?
A: Women like Miki Sudo and Sonya Thomas.
Q: Who are they?
A: Miku just won the women’s division of the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Championship for the sixth year in a row. Sonya Thomas preceded her and holds the women’s record of 45 hot dogs.
Q: Wait. There is a WOMEN’S hot dog eating competition?
A: Exactly. But don’t feel bad if you’ve never seen it. It’s pre-taped and aired just once on ESPN3.
Q: Just like the men’s competition, right?
A: Not exactly. The men’s contest is shown live on the much more popular ESPN2 and then replayed again and again throughout the day.
Q: That doesn’t seem fair.
A: Do you want to know what’s not fair?
A: The men’s champion is awarded the official yellow Mustard Belt, while women get a bedazzled pink facsimile.
Q: Pink? What hot dog condiment is pink?
A: A catsup-mayonnaise combo, perhaps? Or Pepto-Bismol? It makes no sense.
Q: What else makes no sense?
A: I’m glad you asked! When the women’s hot dog eating contest was launched in 2011, the winner got just a quarter of the prize money that the men’s champion received.
Q: No way!
A: Yes way! The men’s champ won $10,000, while the women’s champ took home $2,500 – the same amount as the men’s third prize.
Q: But surely the men earned it. Their winner ate four times as many hot dogs, right?
A: I did the math. Let’s just say Joey Chestnut received more than $161 per hot dog in 2011, compared to just $62.50 for Sonya Thomas, the women’s champion that year.
Q: In America?
A: In America. On Independence Day, no less.
Q: Is there any feel-good news for women in this story?
A: As a matter of fact, there is. After great public outcry, each first place winner of the hot dog eating contest now takes home an equal $10,000 prize.
Q: What is your point?
A: To the U.S. Women’s national soccer team: there’s hope.