artemis fowl

Lynn’s Grade: D

Genre: Fantasy, Sci-fi

Rating: PG for fantasy action/peril and some rude humor

The Plot: In the first of eight books in Eoin Colfer’s successful fantasy series, 12-year-old genius Artemis Fowl wants to restore his family’s fortune, so he holds Holly Short (Lara McDonnell), a fairy and captain of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance force (LEPRecon), for ransom to exploit the magical Fairy People. In the second book, he allies with the Fairy People to rescue his father from the Russian Mafia. At first, he’s a villain and enemy, but as the series continued, he developed and changed into an anti-hero.

Lynn’s Take: The movie, in adapting the first two novels, has substantially changed the story, but if you haven’t read them, you wouldn’t know. However, you can tell that it is a disjointed, disappointing adaptation that will neither satisfy franchise readers nor introduce a compelling story to new fans.

In short, this Harry Potter wannabe is a mess. Resembling bits of Marvel, Star Wars and Fantastic Beasts movies, there is no clear vision in this chaotic mishmash – just a hodgepodge of strange folk that fails to sustain interest, even with all the CGI bells and whistles at their disposal. I am not sure even director Kenneth Branagh knew how to give this story some pizzazz.

Miscasting is a real problem here. Ferdia Shaw is a bland as the lead character who apparently, is a criminal mastermind – but you don’t sense that at all. Josh Gad, as Mulch Diggums, a giant among the tiny folks, and Judi Dench, in a gender-bending role as Commander Root, effect gravelly, growling voices – why? And Gad’s character, in an attempt to make wisecracks and be flippant, got on my last nerve.

Both Colin Farrell and newcomer Lara McDonnel are the film’s saving grace, but they can’t do much about the story’s lack of appeal. Screenwriters Conor McPherson and Hamish McColl do the source material a disservice. It has been in development since 2016. That is the first red flag. The rest of the problems indicate this is a big waste of time.

This film was set to open in theaters but is now available on Disney Plus, as of June 12.